This week in Girl Power we discussed rejection. Rejection comes in many forms - friendship, in the family, sports, performances- and it can feel pretty yuck when it happens.
It is important for the kids and teens to know how to deal with the rejection. We discussed how it's important to articulate how they were rejected, how it made them feel and whether they did anything to warrant the rejection. It is also important to feel the emotion and observe it. If that means having a big cry because the friend doesn't want to be friends anymore, then so be it.
What doesn't help is if they are replaying the story over and over again. If they are constantly thinking about that time they were rejected, it may invite in more experiences like that. The worst thing they can do is start negative self-talk like, "I'm useless, nobody likes me, I'm ugly," as this creates a downward spiral.
How you can help the young people in your life is ask these questions:
Was this person or thing important to you?
If not then time to leave it. Not everything or everyone is meant for us.
If the person or thing was important, go to next question:
What happened? (Be honest)
This allows the person to reflect on whether they did anything wrong or could do something differently next times.
Next, check whether there was any verbal abuse or constructive criticism. If it was verbal abuse, we may not want that person in our life if things don't change. Sometimes, we need to learn how to take constructive criticism without taking it to heart and thinking we are terrible.
Next term Girl Power will be focusing on staying healthy, mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically. It is best suited for girls between 9 and 14. The group is getting busy so I am thinking about starting a Monday evening session too. Let me know if interested.
Also on a Monday I am hoping to start a boys empowerment group online, taught through games and problem solving. More about that soon.
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