Over the last couple of weeks we have been learning about how the worry monster inside us all loves control, certainty and comfort. This week, we looked at what the comfort zone is. We have been playing more games that have put us into our comfort zones at the beginning and end of each session. The girls love it and it means we can laugh and get to know each other in a more playful way.
When you are full of worry, distraction can be a great thing. Doing things you enjoy that are in your comfort zone can calm down a stressed nervous system. However, if we are always in our comfort zones then we miss out on the growth zone. By trying new things that make us a little nervous enables us to feel pride. When we constantly run away from things that we deem scary, it is difficult to learn and we may be missing out on something really enjoyable.
As a parent, it is understanding when to encourage your child to get out of their comfort zone and when to push them a little.
We created a diagram to show things that are in our comfort zone such as being at home, watching TV, playing games on the iPad and then wrote out the things that were outside our comfort zones in our growth zones. Some examples included going on school camps; asking a teacher for help; telling someone when they have upset us. We talked about how readiness to do this new thing isn't a feeling, it's a decision. If that thing causes us fear then we are back to thinking this new thing is a danger or threat. Our bodies then go into fight, fright or flight. The problem with this is the more you put off doing this thing, the more your brain will confirm to you that it is dangerous. That 'thing' will become more terrifying until you either decide to never do it, or you finally choose to pluck up the courage and try it, but will be absolutely terrified.
Children often avoid the things they find difficult. If they avoid the thing altogether, they don't need to run away. Temporarily, the avoidance will take the fear away, but in the long run the fear comes back stronger. In the case of learning something new at school, they will find that they can't avoid it forever; it will keep returning ready to be faced. When we constantly run away from opportunities that help us learn and grow, we will see our worlds shrinking. By empowering children to give challenging things a go, they are opening up to new opportunities and possibilities.
The meditations we do are outside of some of the girls' comfort zones. Many adults even struggle to stay silently with their own minds. This week we focused on the breath and how to calm our minds to open up the third eye energy centre - the centre of our eyebrows; this is the area that allows for concentration, imagination and insight. Once in a relaxed state, we sent the colour indigo to that part of the brain. I told the girls to ask themselves a question - 'What should I do if I'm worrying too much?' and then to listen to the answer. Children and teenagers need adults to guide them, but it is also important to empower them to make some of their own decisions, especially with regards to deciding when to leave their comfort zones.
So to conclude, encouraging kids to leave their comfort zone is a great thing however doing this in little steps with them using lots of confidence boosting language like, "I can do this," "I can face new things that are scary," is the key. Instil confidence first!
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